Working with Young Adults

As a result of complexities in the modern world, the achievement of adulthood has shifted from age 19 to age 35 since the Second World War. The central task of this stage is to integrate one’s life experience, including the unresolved childhood themes, and to develop a sense of the path one will choose in life. Broadly speaking, this is consistent with what psychologists call the adult ego, or adult observing ego. This stage is the beginning of one’s life wisdom.

These are the stages of adult development:

• 12 to 19: First integration of childhood themes.
• 19 to 28: Transition to adult ego.
• 26: Typical age of completion of brain architecture.
• 28 to 32: Choosing of life path.
• 32 to 35: Final choices toward adulthood.
• 35: Adulthood!

These are complex developmental stages during which mentors are required. The role of the mentor in the life of the developing adult is to be supportive, to guide without coercion, to invite a sense of openness and possibility. But the mentor also must assist the developing person to grapple with difficult questions. Here are a few:

• What remains unfinished from your childhood development, and how does this make you vulnerable to certain kinds of moods or behaviors?
• In what ways do you get stuck?
• What are your deepest values and beliefs? How are you going to manifest them?
• What is your experience of other people? How do you approach relationships with them?
• What is the one thing you must remember?
• What is the one thing you must un-learn, or re-learn?
• What are you good at? What are you so good at that it works against you?
• Where are you going?
• Who are you?