A mentor is someone who can assist a child (or adult) to complete their unfinished childhood themes and to further develop their character. After parenting, it is the most important role a human being can undertake (despite the low status it earns). A good mentor encourages an adolescent (or child) to feel safe, to take appropriate risks, to express whatever remains unexpressed. Mentorship does not have to be a long-term intervention. An adolescent can undergo a transformative experience in a single meeting with a good mentor. One outstanding experience is enough to complete the learning for an entire unfinished developmental stage. (This is a possible but not common experience.)

Mentorship Skill

Mentoring requires immense sensitivity and interpersonal skill. Just as a good mentor can profoundly influence a child or adolescent, so can a poor one. An inappropriate mentorship experience can severely damage the psychological development of a child. Mentorship is a trust, a role that is profound and powerful. It is a gift offered to us -- typically by children, but also by anyone in search of guidance.

Parents cannot fulfill the mentorship role, which requires a balance of deep caring and emotional neutrality. Parents possess deep caring, but they cannot be neutral about the choices their children make.

Mentorship and the Cultures of Technology

The cultures of technology are typically devoid of healthy mentorship, which cannot be accomplished without actual face-to-face interaction (because mentorship is about presence, not only feedback). This is the central vulnerability of the cultures of technology: even face-to-face experiences, such as LAN parties, lack the interpersonal depth required to facilitate mentorship experiences.

The cultures of technology are broad, but they are not deep.

Mentorship for Technology Addictions

Technology addictions target states of the nervous system (as do other addictions). In turn, mentorship for technology addictions involves finding healthy activities for the nervous system:

• Flight response mentorship encourages trust, safety, and belonging
• Freeze response mentorship encourages need fulfilment and solace
• Orienting response mentorship encourages healthy action and exploration
• Fight response mentorship encourages healthy empowerment

Mentorship involves both physical and psychological work. The nervous system of the developing adolescent must be addressed on a physical level, through activity, as well as on an interpersonal level.